On Christmas Eve, Kirsten felt her baby stop moving, but said nothing. She didn’t want to ruin the holiday.

Four days later, she gave birth to her stillborn son.

This deeply personal memoir unfolds in fragments—poetry, memory, ritual, and grief—written decades after Rowan’s death, during trauma therapy. From breastmilk and baby urns to yellow ribbons and ghost stories, Kirsten navigates unbearable loss with raw honesty and quiet courage.

She writes to remember, to honour, and to hold on. And in those moments where reality falters, where parallel universes seem possible, she wonders if her baby is still alive, somewhere she can’t reach.

 Slipping Sideways is a story of mothering beyond death as she keeps Rowan Loved. Wanted. Remembered. It doesn’t ask for pity. It offers a connection to anyone who’s ever grieved in silence, questioned reality, or longed for one more moment.